Friendsgiving can be looser than the family version. Nobody’s checking the place settings, half the food comes from other people’s kitchens, and it’s usually in an apartment without enough chairs. So the decor should be relaxed, and some of it should help the potluck run smoothly.

Keep it casual

Eat on the floor. If there aren’t enough chairs, don’t pretend there are. Layer blankets and rugs in the middle of the living room, put floor cushions (on Amazon) and pillows around a low coffee table, and you can fit ten people in a studio. It also looks great in photos.

Mix the dishes on purpose. Pull out every plate, glass and napkin you own, in all their colors and patterns. When there’s plenty of it, mismatched looks deliberate.

Labels for each dish. Small kraft cards (on Amazon) and a marker so everyone can write their name and what’s in their dish, especially allergens. Handwritten cards next to food look charming, and it saves everyone asking whether there’s dairy in the potatoes.

Make the potluck flow

One direction along the food table. Plates first, then sides, mains, desserts, with drinks somewhere else. Mark the start with a little sign or a row of mini pumpkins. It’s the difference between a smooth line and a lot of awkward shuffling with full plates.

Drinks on a separate surface. A bar cart, a side table, a cleared shelf. Most potluck traffic jams happen where people are pouring wine and serving turkey in the same spot. A few fairy lights and a sign make it look planned.

Crates for height. No sideboard? Stack wooden crates or sturdy boxes on the food table and drape a cloth over them. Different heights make the spread look generous.

A corner for photos

People will take pictures. Give them somewhere good to do it.

Balloons and a leaf garland. A pack of burnt orange, cream and gold balloons (on Amazon) clustered in one corner with a dried leaf garland above. Fifteen minutes, almost no money. Pick a spot near a window for the light.

A string of gratitude photos. A length of string with mini clothespins (on Amazon) and an instant camera. Guests take a photo, write something they’re grateful for on it and clip it up.

A board for food opinions. A small chalkboard where people write their unpopular food opinion (“canned cranberry sauce is better”). It gets funnier as the evening goes on.

A few small rituals

A gratitude jar. A mason jar with twine and a few dried flowers, and slips of paper. Everyone writes something they’re grateful for about someone at the table, anonymously. Read them after dessert.

Place cards with a compliment instead of a name. Or an inside joke. Five minutes of writing, and people keep them.

A leftovers station by the door. Paper bags, a marker and a stack of takeout containers so people pack their own leftovers on the way out. It solves the question of who takes the extra mashed potatoes.

When to do what

  • A week before: confirm numbers and assign categories, not specific dishes: two mains, three sides, two desserts, drinks. Buy the cards, balloons, candles and bags.
  • Two days before: set up the photo corner and the gratitude string, charge the camera, write the place cards.
  • The morning of: set up the food table and drink station and lay out the dishes. Give yourself an hour, because you’ll keep rearranging.
  • An hour before: balloons, candles, music. If something isn’t done by then, it didn’t matter.